December 2011
4 posts
Once more, with feeling..
Oh, how I build tragedies and demises before they ever occur. Within a day, I have lived 14 lives, and three deaths. I have been Romeo, I have been Juliet, I have been a dreamer and an architect of my own apathy. I think in sounds and images, and I dream of a space in time where I can be whoever it is, I might truly be.
I don’t know if you’re thinking of letting me go. But in the...
Now and again..
I used to have theories, I used to understand some things. I used to be able to see the constellations, I used to understand the meanings of my dreams.
My hands used to feel stronger, and my heart used to feel less bruised. I think I had less hunger then, a chemical reaction to being abused.
I hide when I am overwhelmed, always an empty bathroom, or a cold alley at night. Spontaneously, tears...
The way it is, sometimes..
“I feel too much. That’s what’s going on.’ ‘Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?’ ‘My insides don’t match up with my outsides.’ ‘Do anyone’s insides and outsides match up?’ ‘I don’t know. I’m only me.’ ‘Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the...
Today..
“I survived by keeping my emotions in check – by maintaining my composure and tucking it all away. I managed to stay under the radar, skating through school without anyone truly remembering I was here. My teachers acknowledged my academic successes and my coaches depended upon my athletic abilities, but I wasn’t important enough to make a recognizable social contribution. I was easily...